i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
