gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
