It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
