Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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