By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
