Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize