I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize