i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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