Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
