i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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