I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
