Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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