Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
