she looked like the before picture.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You may now shotgun with the bride
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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