I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
