Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
