i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
