i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
