Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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