Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
