Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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