Christians are straight up FREAKS
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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