no, he came in my armpit
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
