I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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