READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
