right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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