This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize