Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
