They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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