Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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