We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
