My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
