From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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