go do what you do best...puke behind churches
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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