Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
did i walk over a car last night?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
