Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
