Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
