it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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