i just google imaged poop.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
