Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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