yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
