Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
