The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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