Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
