Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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