I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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