omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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