the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
