Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
