I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
