Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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