Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
