So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
