Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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