im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Your dad touched me again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
