we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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