I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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