You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
