FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize