I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize