so explain again why im purple
no
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
