i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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