The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
