I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
