You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
