we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
