whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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