She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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