You just made me feel so damn special
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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