We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
