you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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