I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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