so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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