this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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