If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
