I cockslap morals
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
