I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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